


Calm

by intensedreams



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-13
Updated: 2014-03-13
Packaged: 2018-01-15 15:21:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1309654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intensedreams/pseuds/intensedreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma can't handle this anymore, the fake happiness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Calm

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, this is a dark piece. I really don't like the whole Robin/Regina dynamic but i'm going through some things in real life and this is helping me process.
> 
> I truly love Emma & Regina, so this is a bit painful.

Regina's eyes shutting as she was kissed. Regina's breath coming shorter and more urgent. Regina's hands tightening on sheets. Regina's legs wrapping around a body. Robin fucking Hoods body.

Emma saw green. She felt sick. She felt like someone had a hand on her heart and was trying to squeeze it. Trying to stop her from breathing. Images of the two of them _fucking_ kept flitting through her mind, unbidden. Regina commanding Robin, telling him where she wanted him. Robin holding Regina down, thrusting into her, enjoying her.

All because she didn't have the guts to do the same to the woman that she loved. She loved Regina. She had for a long time. She thinks she had seen similar feelings in Regina's eyes. The atmosphere electric whenever the two women were around each other. Others had commented on it – Ruby in particular took great pleasure in teasing Emma about the sexual tension between the blonde and the brunette.

But she was a coward.

She had choked every time she had tried to talk to Regina. Every time there had been a moment between the two of them, she wussed out. All it would have taken was for her to find her courage and kiss the other woman, hold her hand, touch her fucking cheek.

Then Robin had happened. Regina was happy playing house with the man with the child. And Henry was happy for his mother, and his new 'brother'. Snow white and Charming had welcomed the new _family_ unit.

Everyone was so fucking happy.

Apart from Emma.

Because she was a coward.

She staggered to her feet, unsteady, she reached a hand out to brace against the dirty wall. She brought the bottle to her lips and relished the burn of the liquid. Rain poured down, not making much of a difference to the already sodden woman. Tears old and new mixed with the freezing drops, her breath coming out in clouds as sobs wracked her body. She felt so sick. Sick of all the happiness. Sick of all the happy endings. Sick of having to pretend that she was happy. How could she be when that man touched what was hers. Regina's back arching, her teeth flashing when she gasped. Emma bent over and threw up, bile bubbling at the back of her raw throat.

The two of them laughing together at the diner. Holding hands. _His_ hand resting on the small of her back. The sodden figure flung her head back, the rain splashing against her cold flesh. Pathetic. The word reverberated throughout her whole being. She brought the bottle to her lips again to try and drown out that voice but found it empty. Emma threw the bottle at the ground, a frustrated growl punctuating her harsh breaths. She trudged towards the sound of boats, crunching through the shattered glass. Images of sweaty bodies writhing swirled through her fevered mind. She forced herself to look at the sun rising - the beautiful orange permeating the grey clouds. Emma brought her hand to her eyes, viciously swiping at her never ending tears. She tried to hold her breath to stop the sobs forcing their way through her chest.

Fuck them.

Fuck him.

Fuck her.

Emma stepped off the pier.

The cold of the water stopped her tears, stopped the pain in her chest, stopped her mind showing her things she did not fucking want to see.

Numb.

She held her arms out, like she was flying, letting her fingers wriggle.

She felt her heart slow down.

She felt calm.

She felt peace.

Regina was happy. That was the important bit, Emma reminded herself.

The darkness overtook her, the pain in her chest and lungs not anywhere near as bad as what she had felt out of the water.

She smiled.

 

 


End file.
